Online

So, I decided to try online dating again.

My first email arrived, so excited!

And then I read his profile.

He was in his 40s.  Didn't finish college.  Writer.  Has 2 kids at home.  Light brown hair.  Hazel eyes. 
"Plenty of me to love"
And surprisingly no picture.

I hate online dating.
Why am I doing this? 
Maybe I should just find a mail-order husband. 

Motorcycle

For most of my life, I've had the idea that getting asked out on a date by a guy who rides a motorcycle is one of the hottest things. 

I have been proven wrong.

Why?

Although the young man may be attractive, the results of riding a motorbike are not.

1. You take the time to get all cute and ready, and then he shows up on a bike. 
        a. you can't bring a purse
                 i.  no gum for after dinner
                 ii. no chapstick to soothe the windburn (and that is all)
        b. cramming your head in a helmet
                 i.  safety first, but putting your hair in a pony tail right after fixing it is a cardinal sin
                 ii. let's say the helmet you use is the one he uses all the time
                          A. sweet, but lots of sweatiness
                          B. still upset about having to put my hair in a ponytail to avoid the snarls
                 iii. pulling said helmet off your head.  Don't know how to make that look good.
         c. turns out it's not that easy to get on said motorcycle.  No grace involved. 
2. It's easy to lose the keys...in a foam pit...at the indoor trampoline arena
3. And then the bike stops.  From what I've been counseled on,  put your hands on the gas tank so your bodyweight doesn't slam up against the driver.  Getting a forearm workout on a date...not hot.
4. Exhaust.  Also, not hot.

Just keep these tidbits in mind.