This time of year reminds me and enlightens me on what a good reaction means to me. Turns out, I like a good reaction. Granted, I don't love fake reactions, but shoot, stroke my ego a bit and play it up.
Few cases:
homemade gifts. Hands down, always say how much you love it. And be quick about the reaction. Just plan on if someone says they want to show you something they made, or they are giving you something they made, rejoice. You don't get an opinion if you like it or not. If the giver makes mention about a fault the gift may have, brush it off and come back with how cute it is.
musical number. Not so much gusto is needed for this one. But if you see someone that just participated in anyway in an event, just mention that they did a good job. Eloquence isn't needed. No need to qualify why you liked it. And if that person comes back to sit at your table, notice that they were absent for a while and then remark that they did a good job. It's not hard. Unless you suffered a massive brain injury in the 5 minutes that they were gone, you really have no reason to not say anything.
ugly sweater. If someone shows up to a party, use this line "hey, that's a nice sweater." Same tone, works for everyone - those that scoured the good will aisles, grandma's closet, or just didn't have anything so they wore regular clothes.
Warning: there is no need to be excessive in any reaction if you aren't 100% feeling it. This may lead to disbelief and rejection of the compliment. Not your problem, but no need to feed it. Which leads me to the need for being gracious - accepting the compliment. Also a highly valued trait and skill.
It amazes me how a good reaction will make someone's day. No one will necessarily remember what you said, but the feeling will be remembered. Interesting how that works. I love the ability we have to validate people in the most interesting, yet simple ways. It's an under-utilized gift that we all have. Everyone wants to have a "the crowd goes wild" moment. And we all get to be cheerleaders for someone. We have moments everyday to validate others.
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Oh, Jules, I need you to come back and be my cheerleader! I specifically remember dressing some days and thinking, "Oh so and so will like this and compliment me - I better see her!"
ReplyDeleteI've tried so hard to learn to be a gracious compliment receiver that I do it a little too well now and people laugh at my reactions after the compliment me...hmmm...not sure what that means.
I am going to the Motab concert tonight and remembering the last time I went and you were there by my side. *les sigh*.
By the way, "Hey! That's a really great smile you have!" :-)
Love you!
I love your insights!
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