Three questions have been going through my head all day long and I can't make sense of them. If you have any counsel, please feel free so give me some advice :0)
Dear Abby,
1) if you were to be outside, and you hear a person berating their dog, and possible throwing rocks at them, what is the best way to handle the situation? I chose to not do anything, which I'm not condemning myself for yet, I'm sure that will come later. But I haven't ever dealt with this before, and I really have no idea how I should've acted. If it was a kid, you bet I'd say something. Is a dog any less than a kid? Did I really see what was happening? Nope. Breaks my heart. Ok, the condemning is coming. Dang it.
2) how do you respond to a person that you don't like? Each time you are around them, you find yourself being less nice. Clearly this person doesn't deserve to be treated as such, but I can't shake it. Advice.
3) and lastly, someone wants to move in with you. You know it's not going to be a good situation. And the potential for not getting along is pretty high, yet you are desperate to have someone help pay rent. And maybe it won't be that bad and you just have a tendency to make things higher drama than they need to be.
Sincerely,
Dog-tired of not coming up with any answers.
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Answers (my opinion, obviously):
ReplyDelete1) I don't feel qualified to answer this question because I'm not a huge fan of animals. I'm not saying they should be abused, but I don't feel like I could give a helpful opinion. I know that's not much help, but there it is...
2) When I have had someone I don't like and I constantly find myself being rude to them I try to do two things: 1) Pray for charity towards them. And 2) Avoid them, if at all possible. I figure the less time I spend with someone, the less opportunity I have to be rude to them. It's probably not the best solution, but it's effective. And it is merciful to everyone involved.
3) Don't let them move in! Unless you tell them that there is a trial period of a month or something, after which you could ask them to move. Otherwise, there is not much you can do about someone who creates a bad living situation after they have already moved in - especially if it's not your house. I have had several bad roommates and it's not worth it! Home should be a refuge, not a place that you try to escape. If you can avoid a bad situation before it starts, do!
1. As a pet person, I have found that people take to "pet parenting" advice the same way they take to parenting advice - not well. They get very defensive and say, "Who are you to tell ME how to raise MY dog?" That being said, I'd have maybe suggested they give their dog to the ASPCA if they didn't want to care for him. I may have even offered to take the dog and then I'd take him myself. I cannot adopt one, but most rescue pets are treated kindly.
ReplyDelete2. I avoid them. Like the plague. I've been known to hide behind friends larger than myself to protect myself and the other individual.
3. DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN!!! Not worth it. Home is supposed to be your place of refuge and where you feel peace. I know you've felt the feeling of not wanting to come home before and you deserve more than to feel that way again. But do pray hard. Maybe fast about it this Sunday. I've flip-flopped both ways about roommates and been surprised with who is good to live with and who is not. But generally speaking. RUN!!!!
Dear Dog-Tired,
ReplyDeleteYou need to feel comfortable confronting the low down dog berater. If you do, you could always handle it with comedy (or snide remark) "I wonder how you would feel if he could throw that back?" Being a dog lover, and owner, I would have simply offered to take the dog off his hands, but I have a soft spot.
A smile goes a long way. So does a courtesy answer of 'sure' or 'uh huh'. For some reason, I think of the dog and the unknowing irritating person having similarities. How would you feel if they could throw the rude back? ;)
Don't let them move in! entirelyAnn is right. Unless you have a trial period to help you pay the rent and find someone more compatible, don't do it.
(I love reading your blog kiddo .. mostly I replied because I have secretly always wanted to be Dear Abby .. thanks for helping my dreams come true ;)
1) I don't have any advice on this one. Wish I did, but I don't.
ReplyDelete2)There is a girl at my work that gets on my nerves. She appears to be that type of person who likes to do things to get a rise out of people. However, i agree with other comments above about praying for charity, smiling, giving short answers instead of completely ignoring them. It's cliche to say, but you have to think to yourself "what would Jesus do?". I don't know where you run into this person, so every situation is different. However, with my co-worker I worked hard to make it clear that I am willing to discuss work, but outside of work stuff I don't want to discuss anything else. It took her a couple months to realize this, but since then she has backed off and approaches me with work questions and nothing else. Might respond to the "how are you doing today?" type question with a short answer and smile, but that is it.
3) I think it has been well stated from previous comments of what to do with this situation. Although, I am sure you have already done this, but I would include this in your prayers. Either God with confirm that it is right to not allow this person to live with you, or perhaps God will guide you a different direction and there is something that one or both of you need to experience by living together. I don't know this person or the reasons that have been concluded as to why it would be a bad situation, but sometimes what might not be a good actually turns out to be something that was needed for you and her. Perhaps this is where you could do a trial period of her living at your place. If it doesn't work out, then out she goes.