Icebreakers

The world of online dating is still a mystery to me. For those of you who have already found love...you are lucky.

The website that I have used for this avenue of rejection has a feature called "icebreakers." Let me back up and just tell how this website works. The client takes many questionnaires. The computer then matches you with others that rank high in the areas you ranked high (social, physical, religion, area). Then, the match is delivered. The client then has the profile to look at of supposed match. Pictures and bio are in fun package (age, height, occupation, things you're passionate about, favorite sports teams, people who have influenced your life, etc.) I judge these based on if no picture is included, if they look good in the picture, and height. At this point, I can either archive them, or begin guided communication. Sounds easy, right?

Guided communication is a 4 step process. 1) 5 multiple questions. They answer and send 5 questions back. 2) "must haves and can't stands." A list of 20 things you can't stand and must have. They send theirs back. 3) 3 more open ended questions. They answer and ask you questions back. 4) email. Finally. A way to just chat. This usually follows up the open ended questions, and says "we should meet." Granted, sometimes you can skip those steps and go right to the email. But the other party has to approve of it.

Or...you can send an icebreaker! Exciting, right?
I thought this was just a little personalized note you could send someone, to, you know, break the ice. I got a few and the boys always commented on my smile. Shoot, if you think I have a great smile, I'll give you the time of day, no question. Then I got several in a row that all said the same thing. Wait a second. I look at my options to respond to the icebreaker, and it's all the same stuff. Canned icebreakers!

~I'd love to chat!
~Thanks for verifying your ID. I'd like to get to know you! (my favorite)
~Your profile brought a smile to my face! (the one I get a lot...what does that even mean?)
~Just wanted to say "hi!"
~Would you like to chat?
~Love your smile!
~Wink!
~Your profile got my attention...Let's chat!
~Let's get to know each other using Guided Communication first.
~You seem interesting. Why don't you finish your About Me questions?
~Great pic...would love to see more photos!

Just a few. So the icebreaker comes and I can either respond with another icebreaker back, say nothing, or start the guided communication.

As if online dating didn't displace you from the actual reality of dating enough, the icebreaker gives just one more element to be a chicken, but feel so bold. Clearly, you're online, you're desperate (okay, to a certain degree, don't want to really call myself desperate). We all know it. Just take a risk and start a conversation with the person, rather than a passive icebreaker, which means I have to then make the move and enter into guided communication with you. Mostly, I'm done with the pansies of the world. But I have to get my money's worth out of the site, so for a few more months I will have a lovely chip on my shoulder :0)